© 2001-3000 Thomas O. Robinson. All Rights Reserved. Do not use on open wounds
In memory of my parents: Jim [1935-2025] and Sara [1950-2024], and the family dog, Shillelagh "Puppy" [2010-2025]
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1791), known for his genius in musical composition, was also, by all modern standards, a complete and totally obscene pervert. His canon, Leck mich im Arsch K. 231 (K6 382c) translates in English to "Lick my ass", which is the rough German equivalent today of saying "Kiss my Ass", a phrase he was fond of, even using the term in a letter he wrote referring to a priest of whom he was rather unfond of, apparently. In fact, Mozart was so displeased with the aristocracy of the times, he had names for them like the Duchess Smackarse, the Countess Pleasurepisser, the Princess Stinkmess, and the two Princes Potbelly von Pigdick. In light of Mozart's death, some 40 letters were revealed containing scatological references, especially including love letters to his cousin which included such poetry as "...Oui, by the love of my skin, I shit on your nose, so it runs down your chin...". When it was suggested to Sigmund Freud that he would be an interesting case study, even Freud declined. And despite numerous theories citing such possibilities as Tourette's syndrome, no such diagnosis has ever been made. Mozart was plagued with health issues throughout his life, including smallpox, tonsillitis, bronchitis, pneumonia, typhoid fever, rheumatism, and gum disease. At the tender age of 35, Mozart took ill once again, and after a series of what by todays standards are a number of very poor medical decisions including bloodletting and treatments with medications including antimony, Mozart died in December of 1791. He was survived by his wife, Constanze, with whom he had 6 children; only two survived infancy. There is ongoing debate about the actual cause of his death, but the general consensus is that he was very depressed.